Imperfect but Heroic Parenting

“Do as I say, not as I do!”

Yesterday’s Father’s Day celebration may have stirred up gratitude or bitterness, treasured or sour memories, contentment or regret. Jesus tells us to be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48). But we know that our earthly parents are less than perfect, and we have managed to match them in our imperfections as parents. How then could we ever qualify as “heroes”?

Being a hero is a hard thing to live up to.  There are all sorts of superheroes on TV, with super-abilities like flying and lifting buildings.  Then there’s the all-time superhero, Jesus, who never sinned, knew everything, and happened to be God in person.  Let’s face it – we’re not God, and we can only fly with a plane ticket.  Yet, we have a very special, direct, God-given role in our children’s lives, not to “save the day,” but to keep loving, disciplining, and leading our children to grow in wisdom and ability.

Admittedly, we’ve got it easy in this department right now.  For three kids under 8, they get out of the house plenty; yet, in their minds, the world revolves around us.  They love Captain America and Iron Man, but they come to us for all their needs.  We are real and available, and they still accept wisdom from us.  But as they age, they will grow in independence, and question the world, and challenge our authority and intelligence!  How do we continue as heroes in their lives?

I’m certain this looks different in each stage of life, but we must always help them to see the greatest Hero of all, Jesus.  It’s humbling to realize that we are very limited in our abilities to protect our children, and that will only increase.  It’s God who is able to preserve their lives and rescue their souls, and it’s Jesus who accomplished that work on the cross.

The Bible says, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).  This verse has been a turning point for me as a daddy.  I don’t care if my kids call me their “hero,” but I want to impact them as best I can.  A lot of patience and a lot of listening go a long way!  My children long to feel like they are heard and understood, and they respond entirely differently when I back up from my anger and impatience and take that effort to love and listen.

Heroic living is simply demonstrating what life looks like when honoring Jesus as our Hero. We cannot model perfection for our children, but we can model dependence on the greatest Hero, and lead them as we do so. Your kids want this from you more than they let on – and God has given you a special influence in their lives. Don’t give up! After all – blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God!